I remember the day when my older, widowed brother visited and said he thought he would like to live with me. We had always been good friends, even though he was considerably older than I was. I was startled and realized I had to say "no". My brother had been an excellent hospital administrator, but after a terrible experience in World War II for which he received no medical help, he had become a recluse socially with little interest in anything but his two dogs, and watching television. He also slept strange hours and was often up until one or two am. I gently said I was afraid it would not work and after we discussed the problem, he agreed. I was greatly relieved. Since then I have heard some really heart breaking tales of older individuals who sold their homes and moved in with a son or daughter and their partner or family. Two daughter-in-laws come to mind: they have been emotionally abusive to their husband's mother or father. One woman even took her father-in-law to a hospital emergency room in a wheel chair and left him with a note saying she could no longer care for him. I think the woman was ultimately prosecuted.
As seniors are living longer and longer, I think they need to make plans for what they will do in their declining years. Group homes are fine for some, but others would hate it. Money can also be a problem. I don't think it is fair to expect a son or daughter to be your caretaker or to move in with them and their partner or family. I remember my father-in law saying two parents can take care of six children, but six children usually will not take care of two parents. He was a wise man. So if possible, I think all seniors need to make plans to keep busy and active and lead their own lives for as long as they can and not be too dependent on their children or other family members.