Rx For Parenting Today

Why Are Some Parents so against Vaccines and Masks?

It puzzles me why there is such an outcry about vaccines and masks from many parents. One of the last statistics I heard was that 226,000 kids were sick with the virus.  Some of these children will die or infect older family members or friends. I am often the only person I see wearing a mask when I go out and yet I have had two vaccines and a booster. We had some of the same resistance during the polio years, but it was not so bad that people were yelling at school board meetings and getting ugly on social media. Are we such a spoiled nation of people that we have lost the ability to listen to others and think we are the only ones with the right answers?  Have we lost our sense of community and concern about friends and neighbors?  I have lived in several different states and towns and have always had good neighbors and felt a sense of community. I do not feel that now in the small town where I live. It seems to be all about me, me, me and how much money a person has.

I support mandates for travel, shopping, eating out etc. During this holiday season, perhaps it would be a good time to think about how we treat our neighbors, people of different faiths and skin color.  It is so very difficult to see what is happening to many with black and brown skin or of a faith that is not like ours.  It also hurts me greatly that we have so many hungry, poor children in  our wealthy nation. We ca do better,

Holiday Entertaining and Children

If you are entertaining and have children it is fun if they be included in the festivities. One thing I found useful was to set up a separate party for my children and the other other children who were invited. We had a small patio and having a early dinner it was warm enough in California during the holidays to have the children's party in the patio. My children acted as host and hostess for their party which was good training and fun for them. 

If you  want to have a more formal dinner, it is important that you know were all the children are at any time. One idea is to hire a college student or teenager to supervise the children. This is particularly true if any of the children are on the autism spectrum and  have a tendency to escape.; That way a tragedy can be avoided, particularly if you have a fishpond or swimming pool. Two prominent individuals in our community lost a two year-old while they were entertaining. The child got outside and ended up dead in their fishpond. You can never be too careful with small children, especially if you live on a busy street, have a pool or fishpond or don't  have an enclosed yard.  Let's everyone has a safe and fun holiday.

 

Parenting and the Virus

It is amazing and painful to me that many parents will not get the vaccination  against the virus for their children when they are eligible. 700 plus children have already died and more sadly will. Religious scholars say there is nothing in any religion that prevents vaccination. If you have had to see children die as I  have from awful genetic diseases you would be first in line with your child as a parent.

I was certainly glad that Drs. Salk and Sabin had perfected the polio vaccine when my children were born. I was an interne when there was the polio epidemic and watching  children become paralyzed or die was terrible. Not only do children now end up in the hospital with the virus but they also infect others. It makes no sense not to get the vaccine.  If I had a parent when I was in practice that would not get a vaccine I would send a registered letter and ask them to find another pediatrician. Fortunately, that never happened. So please ALL parents get the vaccine when your children are eligible.

 

Halloween Safety Tips

Halloween will probably be very different this year because of the Pandemic. However, if you live in a small town and know your neighbors your children might be able to go trick or treating. Some safety tips that could keep the kids safe are these:

Children need an adult or someone older go with them. A flashlight is important to have or you could put reflecting tape on the child's front and back. Cross only at the corners and use well lighted streets or go out in the daytime.

Masks are still important because of the virus and hopefully the kids are old enough to have had  immunizations.  Costumes should be made of flame retardant materials. Always walk on sidewalks. Remember also to go to the houses of friends or family members. When you get home throw away any treat that does not look right. Social distancing is still important and you could have a few friends in for a small party if they have all had vaccinations. 

 

Eating Disorders in Kids

I  have had far too many kids with eating disorders as patients.  These were not only mostly girls with anorexia, but kids who would eat only certain foods. These were not foods they were allergic to but foods they just did not like. Once in a while I had to ask for help from a psychologist, but generally I solved the problems in a simple way. I asked the parents just to give the patient the same food that everyone else had and not offer special foods the kids would eat. Snacks were not permitted, so of the patients got hungry enough they started eating what the family did.

I think these problems started when special foods were provided and then the problem  would get worse and worse. The family could not go out to dinner unless the particular foods were available. One mother was a physician and I think it was just easier for her to provide the special foods rather than call it a problem. That particular youth did need some counseling and for him I think a lot of it was attention-getting. He seldom saw his mother, never saw his father and was seeking attention. Gradually he became happier as the parents paid more attention to him. So for some food was certainly an attention-getting mechanism. 

Pediatric Care in the U.S.

I am often amazed at what parents tell me about the  pediatric care their children are receiving or not receiving in the U.S. One mother told me  her daughter's pediatrician had never looked below the child's waist. I was appalled. I have found many abnormal things by doing a complete physical exam once a year on kids. 

When I ask parents if yearly urinalysis are done, the answer is usually "no".  Every child, even little ones, should have a yearly urinalysis done. I have been amazed at the many problems I  have found by doing this. One teenager was not feeling well when I examined her, but I was unable to find anything wrong. I did check a urine, but it was O.K. I asked the girl's mother to bring her daughter back the next day.  Once again, there was nothing specific I could find wrong. I asked for another urine and the mother said, "but you did one yesterday." I told  her I would not charge for doing it, but did want another urine. The girl brought back a urine specimen that was brown. I knew immediately she had pyelonephritis. This can be extremely dangerous and I started her on antibiotics. The mother was very grateful and subsequently referred many other kids to me.  I saw the teenager many years later in San Francisco when I was doing a book signing and was delighted that she looked so happy and healthy. So parents please insist  a yearly urinalysis be checked on your children. A lot of problems could be found and helped.

Teenagers and Social Media

It is hard to watch the news and hear statistics about teens, who because they are active on social media,  may do harm to themselves. It  got me to thinking about what I would do if I was the parent of a teenager. I would certainly find a lot of fun activities the kids could become involved in, jobs they could do, or ways they could volunteer to help others. What are parents thinking if they allow a teen to spend hours on a computer being involved on social media sites? Don't parents have any  control of what their kids are doing these days? What about chores, helping around the house? Do teens these days learn to cook, sew, knit, iron, have music or art lessons, or have homework to do? I started working when I was 12 and later on worked as a waitress after school and on weekends. Money was tight for us as a family, even though my father was a college professor. 

Both of my children had sports activities and music lessons, and my son became very involved in theater.  My daughter volunteered at a school for children of  low income parents.  Then  later, after college she started a  program in San Francisco to help kids with disabilities find jobs and my son became a physician. If you are going to  be a parent, it is a hard job, but very rewarding if you take the job seriously. Are parents too involved with their social life, their jobs, shopping, or themselves? Something is very wrong if a child thinks suicide or hurting himself or herself is the answer. One of the reason I sold my much loved pediatric practice was  either I was going to  have to adopt some of the children who were in such pain or  open an orphanage.  

Raising Children with Manners and Morals

It must be hard to raise a child today with both good manners and good morals. With all the anger, division, and craziness in the world today, what can parents do? I think the answer is to go back to the basics of good  parenting. Children want and need to know their parents are in charge. Parents are also role models for their children. If you cheat, are unkind to people, and think money is the more important than anything else, how do your children know what is right?

I have seen all kinds of parents as a pediatrician. Some were wonderful parents, some were terrible parents, and some were essentially absent parents. When a child is raised by a nanny, a grandparent, or someone else, how do they know how to parent when they have children of their own? Some parents today just want to be friends with their children and are afraid if they ever say "No" that their child or children will not love them. I do not know where that concept came from or when it started, but it is just plain wrong. Children have much more respect for a parent who is in charge and from whom they can learn both good morals and good manners. It is a lucky child who has this kind of parent.

Keeping Babies Safe from Falling.

Now that the days are so difficult parents have to be particularly careful to not let their stress keep them from being vigilant about the safely of their children.

I remember one patient I had where the mother laid a baby on a bed while she did something else. It did not occur to her that the child might roll over onto the floor. But that is what happened. The baby did O.K. but we all worried for several hours. Now it has been reported by the CDC that there are about 2.8 emergency room visits a year because of falls by infants when the doorbell rings or a parent or caretaker needs to use a bathroom or do something else. Also remember that babies should always sleep alone and on their backs. I shudder when a grandparent tells me that a grandchild sleeps with the parents. Do the parents have any idea how risky that can be?  It is very tiring to care for infants  or little children, but a single mistake can  have a life-long effect.

With this awful pandemic, I worry about  all the babies being born and wonder if they will survive their parents' stress level. This is a particular problem if there are other children in the family and they have either not been  immunized or not yet able to go to school. I am certainly thankful that my children and grandchildren are adults. It is very important that parents find ways to take time off, have a little fun and relaxation. Parenting is  hard work and it never over, but the rewards are immense.

Children and the Pandemic

Children are becoming ill and far too many (450) are dying from the virus. Are they being exposed by family members, friends or teachers? Now 29% of the Covid cases are children. I do not understand how any adult could be so SELFISH as to say they will not get the vaccine. Tucker Carlson and his counterparts are certainly responsible for much misinformation. It is hard to believe that Tucker Carlson grew up in the same  small community where I now live and went to Country Day where my children went. Does he just care about the money he makes and the power he has? That is selfish and completely wrong. Of course, he and his family have had the vaccine. 

I am so very glad that I don't have school-age children. No, I would not send a child to school unless I could be assured that every adult and all the children age 12 and up had been vaccinated. If I were a school board member or a Principal or in charge of several schools I would mandate that everyone be vaccinated. That should not be a choice. I wish pediatricians and family doctors would be more out-spoken about the need for everyone to be vaccinated. I have not seen that. Nor have I seen anything from the AMA or other large medical groups about the importance of vaccinations.