I was reading an article the other day about how parents are parenting today. One mother said she just wanted to be her children's' friends. I felt sad for her children because kids don't want their parents to be friends; they want to make and have friends their own age. If parents don't want to be in charge, it can make the children extremely anxious. It is hard to be a child and feel that no one is really in charge of the family. I had a very sweet, caring mother, but I can remember as a small child looking at her and thinking, "I wish you would act like a parent'. I suspect that is one reason I became a pediatrician. I also parented exactly opposite of the way I was parented.
Once children become adults they can be wonderful friends. I certainly found that with my children and miss my daughter greatly. She died of breast cancer at age 56. When I was in private pediatric practice, I had many kids tell me they wished their parents would establish rules, so they would know the limits and how they were supposed to act. It is easier to let kids do what they want when they want, but in the long run, both the kids and their parents will pay a high price. I have seen this happen repeatedly. When kids know what is expected of them and parents stick by the rules or limits they have made, then everyone profits.
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