I talked with two thirteen-year-olds a few days about sexting and asked if they knew anyone their age who was doing this. They both said "Yes." One girl goes to a private school and the other to a public school. When I asked why any girl would want to send a nude picture of herself to a boy, the one girl answered, "She wants a boyfriend!" I was appalled.
Where are the parents of these girls and what are we teaching our teenagers? Is having a boyfriend when you are thirteen that important? I think the magazines, the Internet and society are all pushing teenage girls to grow up much too fast. My grandson told me that when he was a teenager, he would notice after summer vacation that some of the girls in his class had had facial or breast surgery. Is there a certain picture of beauty that teenage girls and young women are trying to achieve in order to be attractive to boys and men? What about just getting a good education, being introduced to art, music, literature, theater, and dance? Europe is so far ahead of us in their schools and I believe in many ways in what they are teaching their young people. I believe that France actually subsidizes artists, which we certainly don't do in the U.S., according to my artist friends. When I was a teenager, the farthest thing from my mind was having to have a boy friend. I started working when I was about thirteen after school and weekends, had chores, lots of friends and went by myself to concerts at Pomona College where my father was a professor. We had little money, but life was rich in other ways. Perhaps if parents spent more time talking with their kids and having fun with them, the need for girls to do something like sexting would disappear. Also if parents brought up the subject of sexting with their teenagers, that could be very helpful. It would also be important to talk about sex in general. I gave many sex education talks when I was in private pediatric practice and at one private school, a girl's mother asked that her daughter not attend my talk. A few days later, the mother called and asked if I would talk with the girl about intercourse and similar topics. She said she was unable to do it, but realized it was time!
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