Rx For Parenting Today

Parenting a Child with ADHD

Parenting is not an easy task in today's troubled world and the added push for excellence and all the technical devices make life even harder for both parents and kids. If a child has ADHD, parents can be at a great loss about what to do. The hyperactivity can be extremely stressful and signs of trouble lying ahead can be seen even in small babies. Mothers have told me that the infants never seem happy, cry more than expected, and are difficult eaters. When they start walking, most are constantly on the go. Many parents tell me their pediatricians are not helpful or don't even make the diagnosis, so it is up to the parents to find solutions. Often parents of an older child with the same disorder can be helpful and finding the right professional can be life-saving. Many parents find that limiting sugar intake and giving a high protein diet helps. Medications are available, but waiting until a child is older and they are absolutely necessary is the wisest thing to do. Ritalin and similar drugs can make a great difference if nothing else helps. Firm limits and the parents ability to say "No" are both important. Some behavior training may be helpful with the right professional for both parents and children.

When a child starts school, it is important for parents to work with the teachers because inability to finish tasks and inattention can be a real problem. Special education help is available in the public schools, but application needs to be made for help with the Special Education office in the child's school district. The children may be extremely bright and with the right professional help and firm, loving guidance by the parents they can have full, happy lives.

 

Bed Wetting in Older Children

I was talking with a woman the other day who told me about a boy she knew who was still wetting his bed at age eleven. The child's mother wasn't concerned  the woman said and the boy had not been seen by a pediatric urologist. I was appalled. How could any eleven-year-old handle that I wondered?  I asked if there was a family history of bed wetting and the woman said she asked that. Apparently, she asked because she had some experience in her own family with bed wetting. I also inquired if the boy had any other problems and except for being pushed academically, there were apparently no other difficulties, such as ADHD, which bed wetting can accompany.

In thinking about children I had seen as patients who were late bed wetters, I remember one mother telling me she had a roommate in college who wet her bed.  We had a wonderful pediatric urologist in the town where I practiced and I always sent children who were bed wetters to him.If there were no congenital abnormalities and no infection, sometimes restricting fluids late in the afternoon and adding a specific medicine can help the problem. Every child should have a yearly urinalysis and if they are bed wetters, a urine culture should always be done. A family history of diabetes is also important to note. Every child who is a late bed wetter should always be seen by an experienced pediatric urologist.

 

Holiday Stress and Parenting

Holidays should be a time to enjoy family members and friends. Instead, in many families it has turned into a time of stress and unpleasantness. Children who are fortunate enough to have living grandparents are sometimes unable to spend time with them becasue of friction between some of the family members. I have two friends with daughter-in-laws who dislike them and essentially keep the grandmothers from seeing their grandchildren. How I would have loved to have grandparents, but I just had a glimpse of one when I was about four. My other grandparents had died and the one grandmother lived far away. 

Now holidays seem to have become a time of trying to outdo each other with lavish food displays, far too many gifts, and the children put in front of the TV or their ipads.  If a child is small or autistic, it is easy for them to get lost in a large group of people and slip outside. Children with autism are usually great escape artists and often slip away unseen. It is wise for them to wear an identification bracelet and in a small town the local police can be alerted that the children are at-risk for running away. Windows and doors should have locks that can not be reached and one person should be designated to be the person to be in charge of an at-risk child at a big gathering. Sometimes a responsible  teenager can be paid to be the one in-charge. 

If children are given special chores to do when their is a party, they can be kept busy and play their part in entertaining. I am finding that many teenagers expect to be waited on and have no idea how to do chores or play any part in entertaining guests. I wonder how they are going to learn to be independent adults if this is the case. I hope this is a good holiday time for all and that stress can be kept at a minimum. 

Measles Kills 350 Children Each Day

An article in the 11/11/16 New York Times reported the frightening statistic that 350 children die each day from measles and in 2015,124,000 children died from measles. Yes, these deaths are mostly in undeveloped countries, but with rapid airplane travel, no unimmunized child in the United States is exempt from being exposed to the measles. Measles is not a simple disease because the complications are several. Encephalitis is the most serious, but ear infections, pneumonia, and diarrhea are some other problems that occur. 

I can remember when my five-year-old was exposed to measles in kindergarten by a doctor's child. This was before the days of a measles vaccine. Jennifer was very ill and I took off work for almost ten days. She had a high fever and It was a hard 10 days for both of us. She did not have any bad side effects, so we were very lucky, but 20 of the 22 children in the kindergarten class came down with measles after being exposed to the one child. The measles virus is very contagious. 

A child from overseas while sitting in a clinic waiting room in the small town where I now live exposed a large number of children and those who had not been immunized all came down with the measles. I do not understand any parent who thinks they know better than the American Academy of Pediatrics doctors who plead that parents immunize their children. I would not and could not care for an unimmunized child if I was still in pediatric practice. 

Teen Deaths from Suicide Now Greater than Traffic Deaths in U.S.

The mother of a 14-year-old told me recently of the plans she and her husband had to buy their daughter a car when she was a senior. "Why would you do that for her at 16?" , I asked. The mother replied that all the seniors in her private school had them. I was troubled by the mother's  response for two reasons. I felt the daughter would not have the maturity to handle a car and also because her ADHD complicated the issue.

I think parents have to be assess very carefully whether or not they buy a car for a teenager. Far too many teens are killed by drunk or reckless driving. Now we have  the added concern that more teens will die by suicide than by traffic accidents.What is going on in the U.S.? Are we such a money driven, celebrity culture that teens commit suicide if they are mocked on social media or bullied because they don't wear the right clothes, drive the right car, or have a boy friend? As parents and grandparents, have we done what we could to make the teens feel valued, looked for their special gifts and helped develop them? Losing a child can be the worst tragedy that can happen to a parent. If it is by suicide I cannot imagine what the parents must be thinking.

Families that still have family meals with the TV, radio, and cell phones turned off have a better chance of being able to communicate with their kids and know if something is troubling them.  If the kids shut themselves up in their rooms, stop communicating with their parents face to face and no family meals take place a great deal can happen.

Using a Playpen Could Save A Little Child's Life

I did a radio interview last week about my parenting books and one of the questions was why I advocated the use of playpens for little children. My reply was somehow a myth has been spread that using a playpen could retard a child's development. I have no idea where this came from, but it is not true. Not only have my own children and grandchildren had playpens, but countless patients. I told the interviewer that when my first grandchild was crawling, she and her parents lived in a small house with a door opening to the basement right off of the dining room. Not everyone was careful about keeping the door closed and if Heather had tumbled down the steps she would have landed on a concrete floor. She could have  been killed or had a severe head injury. When my son took me to the airport I told him of my worry about this and he promised to buy a playpen on the way home. 

If a parent needs to put out the garbage, go down into a basement or into the garage, a little child can safely be put in a playpen. Using a bathroom, answering the telephone or countless other things can be done with a child in a playpen. My children never objected to a playpen when they were little and they always had toys or blocks to keep them occupied. Since they were all honor students and reached their developmental steps early, playpens obviously did not retard their development! Now there are portable playpens that can be carried in a car if you are traveling. Some grandparents houses are filled with many valuable fragile things  a little child could easily destroy or poisonous things  a child could get into. I hope all parents with a little child have a playpen available for use when it is needed.