Rx For Parenting Today

Medical Care for American Students Overseas

I was contacted the other day by a parent who was concerned about her son who was studying overseas. He was having some medical problems and didn't know where to find a good physician. Even though there is universal health care in the country, Americans are not eligible for it. Fortunately, I had worked in a London  hospital and  have good medical contacts  there. It took several e-mails but two good physicians were found for the youth. 

It can be worrying to  have a child overseas with medical problems. If you don't have any medical contacts in the country I have some suggestions about how to find your child a good doctor. If you had a medical friend who  has studied in Europe or been to meetings there, that is a good place to start. The world is so much smaller now,it is easier to keep in touch with people overseas and many doctors have contacts in other countries. Another suggestion is to talk to friends who  have traveled widely and see if they have a friend in the country where your child needs a doctor. People from that country who now live in the U.S. but go back and forth can also be helpful. I am not sure if the American embassy in a country can help but it is certainly worth a try. If your child is in Paris, he or she is very fortunate because of the excellent medical care there and the American Hospital in Paris. 

Universities overseas should have medical resources for their students but I am not sure I would always trust those. I have had some bad medical experiences for students in our American universities. Lots of networking and research should pay off, so your student will have some good medical care.

Safety for High School Football Players

Now that many schools will begin in the next week or so, I know parents are stocking up on supplies their children will need. If a teenage boy is going to play football, there are some things that should be considered. My son played varsity football as a tenth grader and I always held my breath at each game that he would be injured. I'm glad that all the bad statistics about football injures had not yet been published. Geoffrey didn't play after the tenth grade because he was excited about being an actor. He stood up to the coach who called all summer saying, Geoffrey was their star player and he was letting the team down. 

Some of the things I have subsequently learned are that many schools don't have new           regulation helmets. I would investigate this if a son is going to play football. Many schools are short of funds and use whatever old helmets they can find. The other very important thing to check on is if a physician does a physical examination or if one if requested from the teenager's pediatrician. There has been a debate about whether or not an EKG should be done on each player. I would ask the coach where the school stands on this.  Of course your doctor can always see to it that one is done. The other thing I would check on is the policy about concussions. If a player suffers from one, does the coach immediately remove him from the game and request medical attention? Sometimes coaches force players to continue playing even when they have had a severe head injury. I am not a great fan of football because it can be a very violent game. If a boy wants to play and is physically able to do so, I would let him but would want to be sure he is as safe as possible.

The Opioid Crisis

It is a difficult time to be the parent of teenagers with all the changes in technology, the mess in Washington D.C. and now the opioid crisis. I was startled to read that there are now 91 opioid deaths each day. Many of these are not children or teens but the loss of even one child to drugs is too many. I hope the administration and medical societies will find the doctors who write the prescriptions and hold them accountable. I am not sure this will happen, so parents are the ones who have to take charge.  Spending time with your children and being their parents and not their friends is a place to start. All children want to limits. This makes them feel safe and secure. The children and teens I had in my practice who got into drugs were from homes where the parents were rarely there, money was much too plentiful and the kids were expected to be perfect.The parents had no idea what the kids were all about, their dreams  or their worries. Many times a child or teen would make an appointment to see me with some excuse of not feeling well when what they really wanted was an adult to listen and make them feel secure. Even if I talked with the parents about what the kids needed, they didn't hear me. Suicide is on the rise, particularly with teenage girls. 

Having at least one meal a day as a family can make a difference. This should be with the phones, TVs, and radios turned off. Really listening and trying to understand your children can make a great difference. The Europeans, in genera, are much better about having meals with their children than are American parents. Kids need chores, exposure to those less fortunate than they are and money they have earned. Using their parents as ATM machines just sets them up for problems. 

 

Self-Esteem in Children

Many schools will start in about two weeks and for a child who is entering regular school for the first time, it can be scary.  A shy child can have a really difficult time. One child was brought to see me because she refused to go to school. It was September and she had attended her first grade class just for two days. Each day she came home crying. I suggested two things.  My first thought was for the mother to visit the classroom and get an idea about what the teacher was like. The mother called and told me she felt the teacher was quite controlling and rigid.  She had also put the little girl in the lowest reading group. At home, the mother said the child was reading her older brother's books.  Obviously something was wrong. I suggested that an excellent child psychologist do some simple tests. These proved the child was extremely bright but quite shy. Fortunately, the parents could afford to move the child to a private school where the teacher was warm and wonderful The little girl flourished and the last I heard she was a straight A student and happy. 

If you have a child who is  having a difficult time in school or getting along with the other children, it could be shyness or poor self-esteem. It would be important to check on the teacher and school and also to encourage your child's positive qualities. If the school problems persist, some testing by a private child psychologist would be a good idea. There could be a learning disability or another problem. Sometimes finding a child's special talents and encouraging these can help. The child may want to dance, paint, or play music. All of these can help improve self-esteem. 

Medical Care for Teens Headed for College Can Be Problematic

When your child is headed for college in another state or at a distance, it can be a wrenching moment for parents. I can remember my mother crying as she put me on the train as I first went to Colorado College and then the next year to Stanford. I vowed never to do that to my children. One of the things I learned apart from the emotional pain that can occur at this time is to be sure your children are at a college where the medical care is good. Many colleges, even prestigious Eastern colleges, use nurse practitioners to  provide medical care in their student health services. The nurses are supposed to have a doctor oversee what they do, but in my experience with many patients in college, I have found this not always to be true. When my daughter went to University of Colorado as a freshman, I checked on the staff in the student health service. They had doctors, rather than nurses which delighted me and I found one who seemed to be the most experienced. I also found a good internist in Boulder in case Jennifer needed a second opinion. The first time Jennifer needed to see a doctor, she made an appointment with the doctor I suggested. When her name was called she was told she would see someone else and she said "No, I  have an appointment with Dr. X and that is who I will see. Both of my  parents are doctors." She saw the right doctor and was pleased. 

Now that many colleges are experiencing several suicides a year among their students, it is even more important that parents check out the medical care their children will receive. The tragic case of John Kelly, a Harvard freshman, is one I have never forgotten. He was seen by a nurse practitioner and prescribed medication for ADHD, which had never before been a diagnosis.  After his second visit and different medications, he committed suicide. No doctor was ever seen.

Educating Children

I live in a town where there is a great discrepancy between the rich and the poor. 65% of the children in the public schools qualify for free lunches under the Federal low income laws.  Yet several of the low income schools are being closed and the money put into schools for the more affluent families. The low income schools get the newer, less experienced teachers because those with tenure generally chose schools in more affluent districts. Children with problems who act out in school are often expelled rather than helped. Counselors primarily take care of attendance records and school nurses and school psychologists are few and far between. Once a child is expelled, is there any followup or provisions to help? Sadly I have not seen this be a priority. The biggest priority seems to be finding the best students, training them on computers and forgetting about basic things as writing by hand, thinking about how to solve problems and having regards for other students and members of the community.  It seems we are turning out robots rather than caring, compassionate human beings. For many affluent parents, the goal is to be sure their children are accepted into prestigious Eastern colleges. 

It is very important that all children learn to write cursive or by hand. Computer skills are important but writing by hand has been shown to help a child do better in spelling and composition.  It also helps them retain information and as the author Jennifer Doverspike noted, "Handwriting  uses more of your brain." Sadly in the area where I live the head of education thinks computers are the most important and cursive is not generally taught. As parents of a child or children who are in schools where computers skills are valued above everything else, I hope you push for  cursive to be taught, as well as art, music, and even manners!  Otherwise children  may end  up with very narrow and limited educations.