I was talking to a grandmother today who was soon to visit her son and his family. She was looking forward to the visit but had some concerns about seeing her 13 year old granddaughter She said the girl was spoiled by her father who found it hard to say 'No" to his daughter. Having raised several children, the grandmother was concerned about what was ahead for the teenager. I agreed with her that the future could be difficult for the teenager. If the girl assumed she could do or have anything she wanted, she could be in for some rough times. Apparently, money was plentiful and the girl did no chores and was given whatever money she wanted. Both are dangerous for kids. All children need chores. it gives them a feeling of being needed and contributing to the family. Learning how to manage and make money is also important. But how do you do that if you are just given money and don't make any contribution to the family? Even children with disabilities need chores. They can be tailored to what a child can do. If the other children in a family are expected to do chores but a child with a disability is not, how does that seem to the siblings?
Some extremely rich families expect their children to have chores and be careful about money. I have been the pediatrician for families who had a great deal of money. Some of the kids turned out very well if the parents could say "no", the kids had chores and had to be careful about money. The children from families where everything was given to them have not turned out well. Spoiling children hurts them and hurts everyone who comes in contact with the children. Parents who are loving but firm and are able to say "No" can make a great difference in their children's futures.
Comments