Rx For Parenting Today

Raising Teenagers in Today's Difficult World

It must be a great challenge to raise teenagers these days. It has been interesting to watch how two girls from different families are being raised. Both girls are fifteen and both parents come from well-educated middle-class families. One girl has chores, several pets, an allowance and loves spending time with her parents. The other girl  has no chores, always seems to  have a lot of money and spends most of her spare time with her male and female friends. The first teen is an exceptional student while the other teen gets good grades, but school is not her favorite place. She seems to listen to her friends, more than her parents. I worry about what is ahead for her. The first teen wants to be a physician and is already being sought by prestigious colleges. 

In thinking about the difference between the teens, I have found that the first teen was raised by traditional  parents, as were  their parents. The other teen had parents who didn't seem to be in charge.  Saying "No" appears to be difficult for many parents today. Teens want their parents to be parents and give them firm rules and guidelines about what is right and what is expected. Otherwise the teens can become anxious. They are not old enough or mature enough to be in charge of their own lives. When I was in private pediatric practice, I would often have a teenager come to see me. They would make an excuse of a sore throat or other minor problem, when what they wanted was to talk to me. I heard many complaints about parents who spent most of their time at work or social events. I often wondered why the parents had children. So if you can be a parent who is in charge, you will make a great difference in your children's lives.

Misdiagnosis of Muscular Dystrophy

Several years ago a survey was published that showed 50% of patients with muscle weakness had a misdiagnosis.  Now it may be more than that. Several of the top U.S. doctors in neuro- muscular disorders have died in the last few years.They were Dr. Jim Peter, Dr. Ted Munsat, and Dr. Lewis Rowland. Lord John Walton in England a world-wide expert, also sadly died in the last years.  We  have few neuromuscular centers in the U.S. I think this is because  they are not a money-making area of medicine. Neurologists don't make the money that surgeons and other top money-making doctors do. Pediatrics, neurology and psychiatry are at the bottom of the  income list. Many medical students are still choosing money making professions and many hospitals and medical schools have eliminated low income producing centers. The only place I will now refer a child or adult with muscle weakness is to Dr. Selcen at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. 

I am pleased that my article about misdiagnosis of muscular dystrophy was published in the December medical journal, Contemporary Pediatrics. It can be accessed at:

http://contemporarypediatrics.modernmedicine.com/contemporary-pediatrics/news/elevated-cpk-no-short-cut-muscular-dystrophy-diagnosis?page=0,3

Choosing a Good Nursery School

A young mother talked to me the other day about her child's nursery school She said her three-year-old, who was  bright and active, was expected to follow rigid rules. Sitting quietly was not one of her favorite things.  I love three-year-olds and have always found them to be full of energy and fun. Trying to regiment them makes little sense. I suggested the mother visit several other nursery schools and gave her some suggestions about what to look for. 

The first thing to check is to be sure the nursery school is accredited and not just in someone's house. The teachers should have background checks. Also information about their medical history is important. For example when was their last chest X-ray?   Also the school should be clean and warm and welcoming.  I would ask what the rules were for sick children. Are they sent home or what if a caretaker is not available to come for a child? If a child suddenly becomes ill or has something like a seizure how far is the nearest doctor's office or hospital? Do the teachers and helpers have CPR training?

What is the daily routine? Do the little children get to take naps? Is any food offered and is so what is it?  How many adults are there per child? You can often get answers to these questions if you drop in unexpectedly to see how the children are treated and the general  feeling of the nursery school. Talking with some of the parents of children at the nursery school can also be helpful. I  have visited some great nursery schools and seen a few that were pretty bad. So a lot of investigating always pays off. 

Parenting Challenges in 2018

Parenting children in 2018 is going to be an increasing challenge, I fear. As children begin to assume more and more of the rights of adults. How difficult it must be these days for parents who have been and want to be in charge. Kids seem to listen to their friends more than their parents and being popular and particularly for a teenage girl to have a boy friend seems to be all important. When did parents lose their ability to be in charge? I am sure many parents believe they are still in charge and have the respect of their children, but I am seeing less and less of this. I think if children have chores, earn the money they are given and are expected to follow their parents' rules, there still is hope. When money is plentiful and children are given everything they ask for, trouble is ahead. 

My doctor son and I were having lunch together the other day and I asked him when he thought parents started losing control. He said  he believed it went along with everyone  now considered to be equal. For example, students can critique their teachers and professors and bosses have to be careful they are not too authoritarian. Raising children is not like running a corporation or business. Parents must and should be in charge. 

A mother told me the other day she wanted to do something with her teenage daughter but the girl said she had plans. The mother had no idea what the plans were. My daughter would have checked with me to see if what she wanted to do was O.K. and to be sure it didn't interfere with something she was supposed to do. I would still raise children the way I did. I was fortunate to have two wonderful k ids and in helping raise my grandchildren, my son and I were in charge, not the kids. Both are now hard-working exceptional adults.