Rx For Parenting Today

Arming Teachers Is a Terrible Idea

In talking with my teacher friends, they are all horrified about the idea of having a gun in their classrooms.  Of course the NRA would love this because that would increase the number of guns in the U.S. dramatically. We already have 300 million guns, so do we really need more? I wonder if Trump will want  the teachers in private schools, where his son goes, to also have guns? The cost would be about a billion dollars it is estimated to put guns in each classroom and to train the teachers. When we have hungry children, millions of people without good medical care, money being taken from public schools and on and on what in the world is Trump thinking? 

I am certainly glad I don't  have to send a child to a public school these days. How frightening that must be for parents. To know that your child might never come home again or be badly injured. We are better than that as a nation. I am not a fan of home schooling but I can understand when parents decide to do that. Betsy DeVos wants to take or has taken 9.6 billion dollars from special education. I guess part of that money is supposed to pay for guns to arm teachers. I was glad to hear that the Governor of Washington state just signed a bill to ban AR 15 weapons. I  have no problem with a hunter having a gun. My father was a hunter but his guns were put away. I don't even remember seeing them. He was raised on a farm and hunting was a way of life for low income families where he grew up. He later became a college professor. I wonder if Trump will soon decide that all college professors  must have a guns in their classrooms. We are getting into some ugly deep black waters as a nation. 

Can U.S. Teenagers Continue to Stand Up to the NRA?

I have been  greatly impressed by the Florida teens who have been speaking out against gun violence. To make even Senator Rubio re-think a few of his positions on guns is remarkable. Of course, the Florida governor, Rick Scott, is playing it safe. He may budge a little but I don't think he will endanger his standing with the NRA. What a weak bunch of cowards we are seeing among the Republicans and Trump. If it had been their children who  were killed, I wonder if they still would protect their positions, their medical care, and their pensions? I suspect even then that some of the wimpiest would still take care of themselves. I can image how the rest of the world is looking at these men and women.

I was delighted to learn that 25% of the teens in Florida will be 18 at the mid-term elections. I hope they can vote Rick Scott and the rest of the cowards out of office. That would be a great triumph. If Florida could be turned into a blue state it would be a great tribute to the teens and teachers who died. The idea of putting guns in teachers' hands as Trump suggests is incredible. I have several teacher friends and they are totally appalled. If the armed guard did not want to risk going into the school and getting killed, what does Trump expect teachers to do? We don't pay teachers enough as it is and for them to take on the job of being armed guards is crazy. But then we are now living in an alternate reality under this administration. 

We were spoiled with the Obama administration. I didn't agree with everything President Obama did, but at least he was not daily trying to prove how smart he was and having to massage his ego. We need thoughtful, compassion people in charge; not those who care more about how much money they have or make and their own positions of power. As parents and grandparents, we need to stand up and insist our children are protected. 

Expelling Students with Problems Can Lead to Violence

Ass I watched the terrible scenes unfold at the Parkland school in Florida and read the newspaper accounts, I wondered what the school authorities had done to help the youth. In my many years of experience as a pediatrician working with youths in trouble and fighting often with school authorities, I suspect nothing was done. Did Nicholas Cruz ever have testing by an educational psychologist to identify problems? Did a social worker, teacher, or administrator talk with the parents or was it just easier to keep expelling the boy? If any of these had been done all of his "red flags" could have been addressed. Instead the shooter joins the list of the those who have killed and injured countless numbers of school kids. There have been eighteen school shootings in the first 44 days of 2018. Trump and the rest of the Republicans do not seem to  have the courage to stand up to the NRA and do something about guns, so parents and schools are  going to have to step in and take control. 

I am so glad my children and grandchildren  have graduated. How terrifying it must be for  parents to send their children to school,  not knowing if they will face someone with a gun and be killed. We must demand the schools identify kids in trouble and get help for them. It is not all that difficult. I have identified and pushed for help from the schools and mental health professionals for countless kids. Each of us can make a difference. I have complied a Chronology of the major  shootings and in each case, the shooter  had easily identifiable problems. Some were bullied, some abused, others  were developmentally delayed, had emotional problems or signs of mental illness. These kids should have been helped, not expelled from school and allowed access to guns. It is am embarrassing to an American when these shootings and killings occur. My overseas friends do not udnerstand why we cannot stop all this violence. We can and must do better.  

When Parents Don't Like or Enjoy their Teenage Children

I was talking to a mother recently and asked how her teenage daughter was doing. Her reply was to make a face and shrug her shoulders. I know the teenager quite well and know she runs the family.The parents have a little more than two years to spend some real time with the girl before she is off to college. I think the teenage years are extremely important to teach the final steps of independence and also to enjoy time with the kids. 

I loved being with my teenagers and also enjoyed their friends. I still hear from quite a few of them. I feel very fortunate that my daughter and I had 14 years to see each other quite often when she moved to San Francisco after she graduated from college. I missed her greatly after she took a position in Washington D.C, met her husband, and stayed in the East. 

She died from breast cancer almost seven years ago, but we had some wonderful times together and even two trips to Paris, my favorite city. Now I am fortunate to be able to spend time with my son and his children when they visit. 

I wish all parents could realize how fortunate they are to have children. Raising children is not easy, but when kids know the rules and  how much you love them, there is nothing more special than the love you get in return. 

Parenting a Child with Hemophilia

Jennifer Dunaway, the mother of a son with hemophilia, has kindly written the guest post below. My great thanks to her.

Coping with a Child's Hemophilia

When I was first told my son had Hemophilia, he was only 9 days old. Every parent wants a healthy, beautiful newborn baby, but that is not guaranteed.  Sometimes you must learn to accept what is given to you, appreciate what you have and make the best of the situation.

After months of denial and finally acceptance, I dove into learning all I could about Hemophilia. Knowledge is power, and I desperately wanted control over the situation. I couldn’t control that he had this disorder, but I could control how I dealt with it.

I became an expert in describing to ER doctors how hemophilia is treated; most did not know. I bought books for my son so he could understand at his level what he had. I reached out to other moms, the local Hemophilia Association,( www.hemophilia.org)  all to gain knowledge, understanding and why it wasn’t the end of my world as I knew it.

Hemophilia is a hidden disorder; my son appears completely healthy and acts that way most of the time. I have to educate others on why it can be deadly if he doesn’t get his medication. I also became an expert in portocaths*, specialty drugs, and insurance coverage, infusions, veinous access and how to poke a 5 year old with a needle every other day.  I did not want to, but I had to gain the upper hand over this and to show my son that it is manageable, doable and  would not hold him back.

He sometimes asks why he has this and complains about it; I tell him we all have challenges and problems and this is one of his challenges and it will make him braver, tougher and stronger than he already is.

                                                                                          *******

*A portocath is a small, circular device doctors place under the skin. It has a small tube leading to the bloodstream to make it easier to have access to a vein.

 

Caring for a Child with the Flu

A recent article in the New York Times had a subtitle that stated "When to Ride it Out and when to Head to the Hospital". Whoever wrote the article either had no children or had had a bad experience with pediatricians. I cannot image taking a sick child to an ER without first  been seen by the child's family doctor or pediatrician. If you take your sick child to an ER you would not only probably wait for a long time to be seen but ER doctors are not pediatricians. I am hoping a child with flu symptoms and a prolonged or high fever would be seen by the child's pediatrician or family doctor. When I was in pediatric practice, I not only made house  calls but I had a divided waiting room, so the well children were separated from the sick children. 

53 children have died from the flu and not all had underlying or immune system problems. The most important thing to do when a child of any age is sick is to be sure the child is drinking lots of  fluids and taking tylenol, not aspirin, to keep the fever down. If a child's fever remains high or the child becomes drowsy and does not take liquids, then a call to the pediatrician is necessary.  If the doctor sends you to the ER without seeing the child, that is not a doctor you want to keep. I am truly appalled at doctors who don't see sick children but send them to the ER. I would change doctors immediately. 

The flu season is supposed to last a few more week, so remember that children can become ill very quickly and that ear infections and pneumonia may both result. Some pneumonia can only be picked up by a chest X-ray, so be assertive if you think your child is not getting adequate medical care. 

Caring for a Child with the Flu

A recent article in the New York Times

Parenting a Gifted Child

Parenting a gifted child can be great fun but it also can be a difficult task. I remember vividly the day when my five-year-old son and I were standing outside. He looked up at the sky and said: "Mother, is that infinity?" I took a deep breath and thought, "This  may be a difficult task." It actually has been a wonderful experience. Some children are gifted in many areas, while others are bookworms and their whole interest is in learning. The children who have wide interests are certainly easier to parent than those who just want to keep their noses in books. Finding playmates can be hard for a brilliant child who cannot be bothered with the usual classroom routines or silly games. Finding the right school can also be difficult. It takes an exceptional teacher  to handle children with all levels of ability and ensure that each child gets enough attention. A good private school can usually offer more for a gifted child than a public school. When our two children started school, I fought to have them go to an excellent private school. We had just finished  our medical training and had little extra money. I won the battle and it was the best thing we could have done. My husband had been sent to military schools, even as a small boy and thought public schools would be the best. I had gone to a public school in a college town and had a greatly inadequate education. Most good private schools have a large number  of scholarships, so these are important to check out if you have a child who is gifted. If a child  also has some type of disability but is gifted, it may take a lot of searching to find just the right school. Often a good educational psychologist can be of great help.