Being a parent,single, divorced, or widowed can be hard work but also very rewarding. Parents often ask me what to do when their children don't get along. If the children just bicker that is one thing, but if they fight or hurt each other that is completely different. No child should be allowed to hurt a sibling or a friend. I've never understood the purpose of time-out and wonder if it really works. I once asked both of my grown children what was my best form of discipline. Both were in their late 20's and in different parts of the U.S. They both said" Just your voice, mother." I was very lucky that right from the beginning the two children were friends. Yes, they had their disagreements, but if they sounded too loud I would ask them to spend some time in their rooms. I was fortunate becasue they knew how hard I worked as a pediatrician and they helped as much as they could. They had chores, allowances, and helped me often about how to handle particular problems with patients. Of course, no names were used. As they got older they also had summer jobs. Teaching politeness is best done by letting them see how you treat others. I've heard amazing stories from employees in three businesses telling me how they have been treated by customers. Children see how their parents treat friends, people in stores, and employees. Role modeling is very important for children. If you lie, are rude, or unpleasant your children will quickly pick up on that way of treating others. If you have real problems with your children fighting or having bad behavior, then sometimes some family or individual counseling for a child is needed. There could also be an underlying problem that some testing or a good physical examination could determine.
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