Rx For Parenting Today

When Children are Included with Their Parents in a Special Party

Recently, I was invited to a anniversary celebration. Several little children came with their parents and most of the parents kept close watch on their children. However, one single mother did not. I knew from a previous experience with the boy that he was a child with problems. I didn't take time to talk to many people because I  stayed with the five-year-old trying to keep him busy and occupied. He told me that he didn't like to talk to people and there was no question in my mind he had untreated ADHD, was most likely learning disabled, and was probably on the autism spectrum. One teenage boy, with wonderful doctor parents, looked bored, so I asked him if he would help me watch the little boy. He was amazing and followed the child around the rest of the  evening.  The teenager could easily have prevented an accident or even a tragedy.

I have been the pediatrician for several children who either died or became markedly delayed because of accidents or drownings. No parent should ever let a little child out of  his or her sight at a big party because serious consequent could occur. My hope for this little boy is that his school will insist on some testing and treatment. Otherwise, he could  become one of the adults we are seeing far too often now who are angry and act out with a gun or knife. If a parent or parents are in denial that there is a problem, there has to be a way to get their children help. I  have had wonderful parents ask me for help with a child in trouble and with good testing and therapy tragedies can be averted. 

Trump's Lack of Concern for Children

Not only are migrant children at the border suffering or dying, as two have done recently, but millions of children in the U.S. are hungry or lack good medical care. Food stamps are one of Trump's targets, as well as the Republicans in Congress.  Many in Congress are very wealthy and of course have excellent health benefits. A recent report showed that about three million American children live in "extreme poverty." This is happening in the richest country in the world. We should all be ashamed this is allowed to happen. Some parents skip meals so their children will have enough to eat. Food pantries help some and some churches and other organizations do what they can. It hurts me deeply to know that any child goes to bed hungry or is without good medical care. The tax bill the Republicans passed helped only the rich. Why do they need more money, more houses, or more cars when they already have more money than most people have ever seen?

At this point, 14,000 migrant children are still in federal shelters.  Medical care is minimal and some children are even housed in tents. What kind of a country is the U.S. turning into? Many of the shelters are privately owned and the owners are making millions of tax payer dollars. If the Affordable Health Care act is eliminated by the Republicans, even more children and families will be hurt. Children with disabilities and adults with pre-existing conditions will suffer terribly. I am glad I live in California where the Governor and legislators are doing what they can to fight against the terrible policies of the Trump administration. As citizens we each need to to what we can to fight their lack of concern for children and ill or disabled people. Let's hope 2019 brings us better news than 2018 has done. 

Johnson and Johnson Baby Power and Asbestos

In a recent  article in the New York Times, Roni Rabin and Tiffany Hsu reported that Johnson and Johnson as far back as 1971 were told by one of their executives that their baby power was possibly contaminated by asbestos. Other J and J executives over the years made the same comment. Yet nothing was done and the baby powder continued to sell. Now there are going to be possibly 12,000 law suits about the problems this has created. Twenty-two women who had ovarian cancer sued the company because of the connection between the powder and asbestos. They were awarded 4.69 billion dollars.

As a pediatrician, I always advised parents  to use just the Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo. I did this because I didn't feel babies needed all kinds of products on their skin and also because of the cost. I suggested cornstarch worked just as well as baby powder and was less expensive. I did not know about the asbestos problem at that time.

I was standing at a check-out line a long time ago and saw a woman buying all kinds of expensive baby products. She paid with food stamps. I wanted to suggest she spend the money on food, not baby products.  

Medical, drug, and health companies frequently make statements that are false. I often shudder when I see an ad saying a product is recommended by all pediatricians, when I know the product is not something pediatricians would recommend. 

Far too many people rely on ads to buy products. When a baby's health or body are in jeopardy some research is needed. WebMD and the Mayo Clinic are good sources for medical information. I'm not sure it is possible  to rely on all doctors because they may go along with what the drug representatives tell them. Also, far too many doctors have connections with different medical companies, which is of great concern.

Holidays and Grieving

I  have always loved the Christmas holidays with the beautiful decorations and the special times with my children and grandchildren. However, since losing a daughter to breast cancer seven years ago  because of the terrible medical care in Santa Fe, New Mexico and the recent loss of a special male friend, I find the days are a little harder to navigate. I am fortunate to have a wonderful son and soon to-be daughter-in law and my grandchildren will be home for Christmas.  Several of my single friends wish the holidays would be over quickly. One was adopted and is now a widow. She has no children, but fortunately several good friends. If we have lost a family member or special friend, I think we  must reach out to others and see if we can't put our own grief aside and see how we can bring some joy to others less fortunate. 

I love hearing from former patients and always look forward to their holiday cards and visits. How fortunate I was to find a medical profession that brought me such joy and lasting rewards. I wish the young doctors today could realize that the being a physician is not a way to make a lot of money but a way to make a difference in peoples' lives and have long-term, lasting relationships. I worry that medicine as it is being taught in far too many medical schools today is all about technology or doing research and getting a Nobel prize. No prize can ease the pain of not  having special close relationships with family, friends and former patients, particularly during the holidays. 

Children and Stress

I see and hear about more and more children being put under stress these days. Many parents insist their children get excellent grades, excel in everything they undertake  and always look their best. Even many small children show signs of stress. Some teachers also push children too far. The idea of giving a child in second grade homework is ridiculous. 

Childhood should be a time to have fun, learn how to get along with others and just "be". Sitting outside and looking at the clouds or enjoying nature should be something they are allowed to do without a parent or caretaker pushing them to be busy. Reading and writing should also be fun, not a chore. Many children are put on drugs to help them, "focus". I had the parent of a teenager insist I write a prescription for some medication so her son could be more "focused" and get better grades. All the youth really wanted to do was tinker with an old car after school. I refused to write the prescription, so the mother found a doctor friend who did. I was glad I did not see that mother again!

If a child is truly having a problem focusing or sitting still, a good physical examination, a blood count, thyroid panel and a urinalysis should be done. A ten minute office visit with an M.D. is not adequate to discover any real problems. If that is what the doctor does, it  is time to find  a doctor who listens, takes a good history and does a good examination. Old fashioned medicine still pays off royally.