Rx For Parenting Today

Toys for Children with Special Needs

In a recent pediatric newsletter I found an article about buying toys for children with special needs. I was puzzled by one statement that said " Parents should chose toys that they can use to play together with their child". I disagree with that statement  because caring for a child with special needs often doesn't leave a lot of time to "play." Also, many parents don't enjoy games.  My first child loved big wood puzzles and I don't see how my helping her would have been  much fun for either of us. I  never enjoyed playing  games with my two children, but did when I could make the time. My granddaughter liked to play store and I did this occasionally, but I would have enjoyed reading to her much more. Children need  time to play on their own, be creative, and a parent's involvement may not make this possible. 

Some good points the article made were to "Choose toys for the child's developmental, not chronological age." It was also mentioned that the toy should be adjusted to fit the child.  Electronic toys can interfere with a child's creativity and traditional toys are the best. 

One of the most important points made in the article was that all toys should be checked for parts that could be removed  and put in the mouth. Little children will try to swallow unbelievable things and choking can be a hazard. So if you enjoy games and have the time to play with your little children, that is great.  I raised two very creative children, so I don't think either of them suffered by my not being a game-playing mother!

School Avoidance

I found an interesting article in the Minnesota newsletter sent by Pacesetter. The article discussed what parents should do if a child or teenager starts refusing to go to school. They note that: complaining about feeling sick, crying or being sad, becoming easily frustrated or quick to anger and refusing to leave home, get on the bus or leaving school are all warning signs. I agree with all of these  but would make some important additions.  

The article rightly states that the child's doctor should be consulted as the first step, but did not mention that a complete physical examination should be done and a blood panel, urinalysis, and thyroid tests ordered. The next step, that the article did not mention, which to me may be  the most important, is to have testing done by a qualified and experienced psychologist. An experienced psychologist can pick up a learning disability, the possibility of being on the autism spectrum, bullying, and many other things. When I saw patients with school problems, wanting to stay home etc. I was amazed at what a complete physical examination and testing by a child psychologist could pick up. Once we had a definite diagnosis, we could get the child or teenager the needed help, medication, or therapy. Sadly, with the rush to see lots of patients a day, many doctors don't do complete examinations, order blood tests, a urinalysis or get to know their patients and families. Then if only a nurse practitioner is seen, as now happens in some colleges, there can be bad and even tragic outcomes. Sometimes the answer is simple. I often mention my grandson, who when he was a four- year- old in a private pre-school program started acting out. When his parents ask for advice. I suggested testing by my favorite child psychologist. It didn't take long for her to get an answer. Alexander was bored with what they were doing in his pre-school class and just wanted to read. Once he could do that, he was well-behaved and after that was always an A student. 

When a Child Has To Be in the Hospital

Hospital care for children has changed drastically with the addition of pediatric hospitalists. I would never let another doctor take care of a child I had to hospitalize unless he or she was a specialist I had requested. I am puzzled how this specialty came about. Was it because doctors were getting too tired to see many patients in their offices and didn't have the time or energy to go to the hospital?  No matter how it happened, it certainly is something parents need to know about. I am sure there are some fine doctors who are hospitalists, but my experience with adult hospitalists has been so bad that I worry.

I think an adult family member or good friend should always be in the room with a child. How frightening it must be for a child to be in a strange place with people poking at him or her if a familiar face is not there. If you are not happy with the care your child is receiving talk to the child's doctor and if necessary go to the CEO of the hospital. I would not overwhelm your child with toys or gifts.Your presence is the best gift possible. A favorite blanket is a good idea. Always get a second opinion from another doctor if you are not happy with the care. If necessary take your child to another hospital. Don't ever let a doctor, a nurse or anyone in the hospital intimidate you. They are there to provide the best possible care for your child. 

I would keep notes of what goes on in the hospital and the names of the individuals caring for your child. Always check your hospital bill when your child is discharged.