Are Today's Parents in Charge or are Their Children in Charge?

I talked recently to a young woman who was house sitting for a friend and in charge of the 16 year-old daughter. The 16 year-old had gone to her boyfriend's senior prom and  instead of  returning home after the prom was "hanging out with friends." I expressed concern and the friend said not to worry that there were just different parenting styles today. I wished the house sitter could have seen the results of this kind of parenting when I was in pedaitric practice in a small affluent town. I had girls who became pregnant, were injured in car accidents because of drinking, developed venereal diseases or pelvic inflammatory disease. The  kids who had rules and boundaries fared much better, were more mature, and when they had children parented like their parents had parented. I still hear from many of these  patients and their parents. 

Children and teenagers want and need rules and boundaries. That way they feel safe and know what to expect from their parents. If there are no rules, anxiety can and does usually result. I  have seen this far too many times. Somehow in the last few years, many parents' ability to say "no" or establish boundaries and rules has changed.  They want to be loved and liked by their children and think giving them money, cars, and freedom will accomplish this. Instead, it can cause lots of trouble and problems. I wish pediatricians and family doctors would have parenting classes as I did when I was in practice, Instead, it seems money and time to play have become much more important to many doctors. I fear for this generation of children. The old rules of parenting still work and the kids do far better. 

Comments

[Kefa]

Parents of today can be classified in many categories. The worst of all parents are those who take commands from their children that everything their children want they are given.