Happy Mother's Day to all mothers and grandmothers. If you have raised or are raising children who have respect and concern for others I send my congratulations. Being a parent and especially a single, divorced or widowed parent is very difficult. I know because I have been one of those.
One of the most important things I have always told the parents of the children I cared for as a pediatrician was not to lose yourself, but still try to be who you are. Many of us, when were we are married, tried to fulfill our partner's needs, while putting our own needs aside. I think I finally became who I really was when I sold my practice and moved to my beloved Bay area. There I was seeing consultations of children and teens with disabilities and neuromuscular disorders and not taking any night calls. I was able to attend neuromuscular meetings in other countries and also spent considerable time working in the neuromuscular unit at Hammersmith Hospital in London. That was special.
If you are a new mother, it is important that you establish a strong network of friends of all ages. Often an older woman can help you through difficult days and give you some perspective about child raising. I find many mothers today find it hard to say "No" to their children but want to be their friends. That does not work and both the children and you will pay a big price for that in the long run. Grandparents, too, need to set limits because the kids want and need them.
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