As parents, it is far easier to let a little child have or do everything he or she wants, but several years later when school or the real world intrudes, the child can be badly surprised and hurt. Teachers have told me how hard it is to have a child start school and expect to be the center of attention and never be told "No". The child can be attention-seeking, have temper tantrums and not be able to sit still or listen to the teacher. Other children will soon find it is best to stay away because the child wants what he or she wants and wants it now. Knowing how to make friends, share, and be a part of a group may be something the child does not know how to do. If the boy or girl has no siblings, this can be even harder. Siblings can teach each other how to play fairly and share toys.
All kids need to have some wishes unfulfilled. If they have to wait for a birthday or earn some money by doing chores, those are important lessons. Earning treats make them more valuable. A child who has chores to do gives a feeling of being grown-up and important to the family. Discipline is love and spoiling is not love.
One teenage patient of mine was told he could not have the car keys because he needed to so some chores and homework. He grabbed them and had a serious accident. That was a hard lesson for him to learn and for the parents also. I once asked my two children when they were adults what the best form of discipline I used. They both immediately said "Just your voice, Mother." They knew if I said "No" I meant it and there was no argument. They both raised their children the way they were raised with excellent results.
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