Rx For Parenting Today

Keeping Children Happy and Busy During the Pandemic

I was thinking today what I would do if I had small children and teens during this pandemic. Having survived 3 very hard years in Rochester, New York during long, long winters and short springs and summers, I  had to be very creative to keep  our two children busy. My daughter, even as a small child, loved puzzles and her brother loved building things. I found large paper blocks that were great and puzzles made out of wood. I did a lot of reading to the children, playing games with them and they helped me with cooking. Even small children like to help make cookies and a favorite was a cake you make all in one pan. Even as adults I think the two children made this cake. Little ones can help with chores and this gives them a feeling of being important and learning a new task.  I think all children and teens need chores. It makes them feel they are contributing  to the family and gives them a sense of pride. As children get older they can put on plays or skits and a dress-up box is a must for every household. I still have one my  grandchildren used. TV was never on in our house, except for programs like Captain Kangeroo and a few other children's programs. How lucky I was that we did not have computers then and social media. 

Keeping Small Children Safe

When small children begin to crawl there are lots of ways they can hurt themselves. Open wires or frayed cords, electric outlets and fireplaces can all be sources of trouble. You can buy covers for electrical outlets or it may be possible to order them from the Internet. Fire screens are essential and any plants that are poisonous should be put up and out of the way. If you have stairs, I would put a gate  at the top and bottom. A playpen can be a life-saver if the door bell or telephone rings. Also if someone is in the kitchen cooking, pot handles should be out of reach and nothing should be under the kitchen sink  a child can get into. The little cubes for dishwashers have caused injuries in children who  put them in their mouths. Kids will put almost anything in their mouths, so you need to anticipate that this can happen. 

Toy chest lids can fall on a child and the garage must be off-limit, as should the washing machine and dryer. Kids love to crawl into small spaces that may not always be safe. If a visitor has a big purse it should be put up high and not down where a child can get into it. It could contain medicine or several things of interest to a child. In my book, Your Personal Parenting Guide I list even more things and places that can be problems. There are many ways a child can be put in danger, so please check your house and yard carefully if you have a toddler or small children.

Parenting a Child to Prevent Allergies

Many parents of small babies have told me that their pediatricians and family doctors don't talk to them these days about what they should and should not feed their babies. I guess if you have to see a patient every 8-15 minutes that this is not on their minds. Sadly, if you have a baby and are from a family that has lots of allergies, food is a very important subject. We had some excellent professors when I was a medical student at the old  Stanford Medical School and I certainly followed their advice when I had my two children. My husband had quite severe asthma when he was stressed and I tried to be very careful about what I fed the babies, when I started a new food, and how long I tried a new food before I started another. I also checked labels on baby food jars and didn't give the babies mixtures of food. I was delighted to see that neither child grew up with allergies. I was also careful about what I ate when I was breastfeeding which is something we were also taught. Many babies and children are allergic to cows milk and a colicky baby may be an allergic baby. Constipation can be a sign of wheat intolerance and eczema can be on an allergic basis. 

 If your baby or child starts showing signs of allergy,  a pediatric allergist would be important to see. Foods that can cause problems are: chocolate, eggs, wheat, fish, nuts, citrus, and even soybean milk. There are now some other milks that can be given. I disagree with doctors who say small amounts of peanuts  are O.K. to try. I don't think we have adequate long-term studies. 

Resources for Parents of Twins

Learning to care for one baby is not easy but having twins can be very difficult though fun.  A  friend who is a twin and  comes from a family with several sets of twins has always been a great resource for me to help parents of twins. She recently told me that there is a town called Twinsburg in Ohio where they have an annual twins convention. In checking the Internet I discovered it will be cancelled this year. However, there is a Twins magazine that can be accessed either digitally or in print. Information is available about the magazine on the internet. There are also 200 chapters of twins clubs across the U.S. They offer a great deal of support. Twin births are slowly increasing, so now one of every thirty babies is a twin. 

There is a National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs that also offers a lot of information. Their number is 877-540-2200 and their website is www.nomotc.org. Another resource is www.twinsadvice.com.  One of most important thing I have always stressed to parents of twins is that the twins should be treated as separate individuals. They should not be dressed alike  and if possible be in different classes in school. Twins often have their own special language and it is important that they have playmates as they get older, so they don't just play with each other.

I have cared for many sets of twins and it has been fun to see  them  grow. I still hear from a favorite family who had twins and their first child is now a pediatrician who keeps in touch with me. 

Children are Dying from the Corona Virus

I see many parents and children without masks in the beach community where I now live. In checking the American Academy of Pediatrics website about the illness in children, I found  there have been 90 deaths in children and 389 confirmed case to date. I am puzzled why some schools are still planning to open without adequate safety precautions. Losing a child is one of the most painful things that can ever happen to a parent. How can any parent expose their children to the corona virus when preventive measure could save them is beyond my understanding. Yes, people in American say they want the freedom to do whatever they want, but when a child's life is at risk that makes no sense. 

If the schools are going to re-open, drastic safety measure should be taken.  Is the ventilation system safe and can there be social distancing and is everyone wearing masks? What about sanitizing the rooms, door knobs, bathrooms and other similar precautions. Are these being taken?  Are temperatures being taken daily and what if a child appears ill? Does every school a nurse?  One statistic I found reported that just 40% of schools had nurses on a daily basis and 35% had them part-time.  So who checks on a possibly ill child and where does the child go if the parents are not available?

I would not send a child or teen to school at this point unless I was very sure everything possible was done to keep the child safe. I think all parents have to be very assertive and possibility aggressive with their school personnel to be sure their children are safe. 

Corona Virus Cases in Children

There have been 180,000 cases of this terrible virus in children since last month. Children are not immune despite the lies the administration is putting out. 338,000 children have become infected and can infect their parents, family members, teachers, and others. I would be very hesitant to send a child back to school at this point unless I could be sure many safety precautions were taken. No child is going to stay away from friends, wear a mask all day, and keep 6 feet away from their friends. 

There was an interesting article in yesterday's New York Times by Joanna Schroeder. She stated that for some children learning at home  or on-line has been a blessing. These are children with ADHD, children who are constantly being bullied, some children with disabilities who find it  hard to keep up with their peers  and very shy children. There are also children for whom the noise of classmates and the need to do things slowly and with lots of time find school a problem. Also teens who need lots of sleep are happy if they can start the day later, go slowly and even take a nap if they need to. Perhaps schools are going to have to re-think how they are educating some children when this pandemic is finally over.  Perhaps a few good things have come out of this awful time. 

An Amazing Fifteen-year-old

It was wonderful to see a fifteen-year-old Georgia girl say why she took the picture of the crowded hallway  in her school. She said "She felt it was the right thing to do."  Her parents must be very proud. The girl knew she would probably be suspended and she was. The suspension was later removed because of public outcry. I predict a bright future for this teenager and hope many others will follow in her footsteps. I see far too many teens in the affluent town where I now live whose only concern is their clothes, having a boyfriend, and social media. I asked one teenager at the beginning of the summer if she was going to look for a summer job. She said she had one for a few days, but the hours were not right. When you have a car, a boyfriend and a credit card, no job is going to seem right.

I knew I needed summer and other jobs to buy my clothes for college. My friends were mostly professors' daughters, as I was, but money was tight for all of us. We did not have cars and certainly not credit cards.  I learned a lot by waiting table in high school and in college. Many people who have always had money have no idea how the real world works. I feel sad for them as I did for my many Stanford wealthy classmates. Good parenting means teaching children about real life and making a difference. I was asked at a book reception what I felt my greatest accomplishment was. They thought I would probably say my M.D. or my ten successfully published non-fiction books. They were surprised and pleased when I said "My two children." 

Lets hope more teenagers follow Hannah Watters and her bravely speaking out and doing what she felt was right. 

When a Baby has Sleeping Problems

A friend told me of her concern that her brother and his wife had their young baby sleeping with them. She knew that many babies die when they sleep with their parents. She really wanted to call their pediatrician but felt she should not. I wondered if the pediatrician was aware of the sleeping problem and the danger the parents were placing the baby in. 

When a young couple has a new baby, lack of sleep because the baby will not  settle down can be very difficult. There are several things that can be done. Babies like to be fed and then put to bed. They should sleep on their back and on a firm mattress. No pillows, toys or anything soft should be left in the bed. Trying to to sleep in a big crib is hard for a little one. They like to be snug in a small bassinet and warmly wrapped unless the room is hot. A pacifier can help a baby sleep and helps cut down on the possibility of a death from SIDS. A smoke-free room also decreases the  possibility of SIDS. If an infant is old enough to sleep in a crib, it is important to check that the slats are no more than 2-3/8 inches apart. Otherwise, an infant can get caught between the slats. Old cribs painted with lead paint should not be used and cut-outs at the ends of the crib can cause problems.  If an infant won' settle  down, check for a burp, a soiled or wet diaper or a hungry baby. A music box playing nearby can often sooth a restless infant. A rocking chair is a must in a baby's room. The infant will often  fall asleep in a parent's arms while being rocked.