Rx For Parenting Today

Emotional Responses During this Awful Pandemic

It is difficult to be a parent even during normal times. Now with the holidays and the raging pandemic, parents have to be very creative not only for their children, but also for themselves. Holidays should be a time for fun, joy, and connections with others. Now that stay-at-home orders are in place in so many states, how do parents and children survive?  If your children are little, it is important to still have a routine with regular hours, rules about what is and what is not acceptable and ways for children to connect with their friends and family members. Having the ability to see friends or relatives using Zoom or  using other ways to connect on the internet can make a difference.  No small child will be content to watch others on Zoom for very long but you could do it for short periods during a day.  You  could set up Zoom dates with other families. One of the most special things my son did this Christmas was to set a time when we could open packages by Zoom with my granddaughter and her male friend in Switzerland. That was wonderful! 

One of the hardest things to handle during this pandemic is not being able to have your usual holiday customs. Each culture has  many wonderful and fun  events that are now lost. Even the loss of a special event can cause a feeling of grief and loss.  Holidays  are also  a time when the loss of a child,  a relative, or special friend  can be  particularly painful. Grieving is different for each person and the saying that a loss gets easier as time goes by is not true for everyone. I miss my daughter daily and yet she died of breast cancer nine years ago. What I do is try to stay connected with many friends and particularly widows who are friends. That way I help them and myself. We will all get through this terrible time and hopefully have more tolerance of others, as well as more compassion. 

 

When Children are Left Home Alone

 With the increased violence we are seeing under the Trump administration and  threats on legislators and government officials, I fear for the safety of their children. Even before the Trump administration, I have always been opposed to children being left home alone.  I know of far too many teenage girls who became pregnant in their own homes when they were home alone with a boy friend. Kids who were left home alone have told me they always hid in a closet until a parent arrived, fearing someone would come and hurt them. There have been children injured or killed when no adult was present and they were playing with a gun found in the home. All guns must be put up and away where a child cannot find them.

One boy was playing cops and robbers with a friend and since he was the bad guy, he pretended he was being hung. The rope slipped and his mother found him dead when she returned home.

The answer to the  problem can be an older person hired to watch after a child or children if parents have to be gone. Ideally, there is a grandparent or relative who can help out. When schools were open and there was after-school playtime, the problem was not so acute. Now with many playgrounds and schools closed the problem has become even more severe. Some parents  have found that  trading with other parents for childcare can be the answer if they have to be gone. There still can be masks and social distancing this way. 

Knowing an adult will be present gives a child a feeling of safety. How nice to know an adult will be home to give you a snack and even some homemade cookies. It was easier to  have children when guns were not such a problem and divorce was less prevalent so there were fewer single, working parents. 

 

Safety Tips for Children during the Holidays and the Pandemic

This is a very difficult time to have a toddler or a small child. With the holidays fast approaching most parents are busier than ever. If as a parent you feel overwhelmed, it would be a good idea to hire a friend's teenage daughter or son to help with your child or children. Yes, they need to wear masks and you want to be sure they have been tested recently for the corona virus. 

If you are ordering or buying toys to give to your children, you want to check that they don't have buttons that can be pulled off, removable eyes, magnets, or any other removeable parts. Children will swallow just about anything small. I had one little patient who swallowed a razor blade and I use his x-ray to teach medical students. There is a museum in the east that exhibits the many objects that have been removed from little stomachs and bowels.  

All medicines, cleaning supplies, and dishwasher products should be put up out of reach. I would also check to be sure your house has adequate smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. A wall furnace and fireplaces need to have good screens around them.  Open wires or frayed cords can be dangerous and should be removed.  Plastic bags should never be within a child's reach. Matches, alcohol, and cigarettes should also be put out of reach. One of the things I always did at night before I went to bed was to walk around the house to be sure neither of my children could get into anything if they were up before I was. Jennifer, even as a toddler, was very adept at climbing out of her crib and later her bed.