When a child has a disability, many parents find their days filled with trips to doctors, PTs, and other specialists. Sadly, if there are other children in the family they often get much less attention from their parents. In caring for children with disabilities for many years, I often held groups for the siblings of the children. The groups taught me a great deal and also gave the boys and girls the chance to realize they all had similar problems. Even though you may love your siblings and want the best for them, it is hard to watch them get more attention from your parents than you do. The groups I held gave the siblings a chance to talk about the problems they were encountering and to say things they did not feel they could say to their parents. Some children with disabilities become very manipulative and find ways to always make themselves the center of attention.
I am the sibling of a girl with a disability and I do not remember my mother ever asking her to perform a chore, while my brother and I were given frequent jobs. My sister became very spoiled and my brother and I both chose jobs in the medical profession. He became a hospital administrator and I became a pediatrician with special neuromuscular training. I still help parents around the world with questions about their children with special problems.
If you are the parent of a child with a disability, I hope you will think about how you are parenting and if you are giving each of your children the same attention. It will make a great difference.
Comments