Rx For Parenting Today

Raising Children with Manners and Morals

It must be hard to raise a child today with both good manners and good morals. With all the anger, division, and craziness in the world today, what can parents do? I think the answer is to go back to the basics of good  parenting. Children want and need to know their parents are in charge. Parents are also role models for their children. If you cheat, are unkind to people, and think money is the more important than anything else, how do your children know what is right?

I have seen all kinds of parents as a pediatrician. Some were wonderful parents, some were terrible parents, and some were essentially absent parents. When a child is raised by a nanny, a grandparent, or someone else, how do they know how to parent when they have children of their own? Some parents today just want to be friends with their children and are afraid if they ever say "No" that their child or children will not love them. I do not know where that concept came from or when it started, but it is just plain wrong. Children have much more respect for a parent who is in charge and from whom they can learn both good morals and good manners. It is a lucky child who has this kind of parent.

Keeping Babies Safe from Falling.

Now that the days are so difficult parents have to be particularly careful to not let their stress keep them from being vigilant about the safely of their children.

I remember one patient I had where the mother laid a baby on a bed while she did something else. It did not occur to her that the child might roll over onto the floor. But that is what happened. The baby did O.K. but we all worried for several hours. Now it has been reported by the CDC that there are about 2.8 emergency room visits a year because of falls by infants when the doorbell rings or a parent or caretaker needs to use a bathroom or do something else. Also remember that babies should always sleep alone and on their backs. I shudder when a grandparent tells me that a grandchild sleeps with the parents. Do the parents have any idea how risky that can be?  It is very tiring to care for infants  or little children, but a single mistake can  have a life-long effect.

With this awful pandemic, I worry about  all the babies being born and wonder if they will survive their parents' stress level. This is a particular problem if there are other children in the family and they have either not been  immunized or not yet able to go to school. I am certainly thankful that my children and grandchildren are adults. It is very important that parents find ways to take time off, have a little fun and relaxation. Parenting is  hard work and it never over, but the rewards are immense.

Children and the Pandemic

Children are becoming ill and far too many (450) are dying from the virus. Are they being exposed by family members, friends or teachers? Now 29% of the Covid cases are children. I do not understand how any adult could be so SELFISH as to say they will not get the vaccine. Tucker Carlson and his counterparts are certainly responsible for much misinformation. It is hard to believe that Tucker Carlson grew up in the same  small community where I now live and went to Country Day where my children went. Does he just care about the money he makes and the power he has? That is selfish and completely wrong. Of course, he and his family have had the vaccine. 

I am so very glad that I don't have school-age children. No, I would not send a child to school unless I could be assured that every adult and all the children age 12 and up had been vaccinated. If I were a school board member or a Principal or in charge of several schools I would mandate that everyone be vaccinated. That should not be a choice. I wish pediatricians and family doctors would be more out-spoken about the need for everyone to be vaccinated. I have not seen that. Nor have I seen anything from the AMA or other large medical groups about the importance of vaccinations.  

 

Hospitalizations for Children

As more and more children are being admitted to hospitals for the Covid 19 virus, parents and relatives need to be very sure  a child is getting the best possible care. This is a difficult time with doctors and nurses and other personnel tired and being pushed hard to care for all the patients. I do not understand why any adult would not have the vaccine. That is selfish and can cause a relative, friend or child to die. 

If I had a child admitted to a hospital I would want a parent or relative to be by the child's bed at all times. There is a lot that can go wrong and a child will be frightened and lonely. I am not sure a special, much loved stuffed animal will be allowed, but I would ask. There may be restrictions about parents not being allowed to be near a child, but if they have been vaccinated and wear a mask they should be allowed to be by their child's bedside. Parents and relatives can take shifts, so there is always a familiar face for a child to see. It is also important that parents take care of themselves during these difficult times, particularly if  a child is hospitalized.

In general you would want the child's doctor to talk to you each day, but these are difficult times, so I am not sure that will always be possible. It is important to get to know the nursing staff and call them by name. They work hard and a good nurse is worth his or her weight in gold. 

Checking that your insurance covers the hospitalization is important and after a child is hopefully discharged, you need to check the bill very carefully. Lots of mistakes can be made.

 

Choosing Health Care

I am always amazed at how even people with advanced degrees don't seem to be able to find good health care and settle for care that is not only bad, but could be dangerous. When children are involved that is even a greater concern. The man who was instrumental in starting the concept of HMOs finally admitted  it was a very bad idea when he himself had care from an HMO.

A friend asked me to check on a doctor she was to see for severe back pain. Not only had he gone to a poor medical school, but he was not even an orthopedist with training in back problems. Before I would see any doctor whether it is for yourself, a family member, or a child, I would look on the Internet and check his or her training, how long the doctor had been in practice, comments about the doctor and if he or she has been in practice for more than a few years.  You also want to be sure the doctor is board-certified in his or her particular specialty.  I am sure there are good young doctors, but I would only go to a doctor who has been practicing for a while and also has had good training. 

If you decide to use an HMO, be aware that there are many restrictions, Also, they use many nurse practitioners who do not have MDs supervising them. They may also have restrictions on what specialists can be seen, conditions that are excluded and  out of state emergencies not covered.

Before you sign anything, read the fine print very carefully. It could save your life or that of a family member. 

 

The Possible Tragic Effects of the New Texas Law

If the new Texas law is allowed to stand, I fear there will be terrible consequences. If teenagers and women can not get abortions, the number of foster, abandoned, and abused children will increase greatly. I don't think people understand that when a woman or teenager is raped and cannot get an abortion, they will try every possible way to get rid of it. This could result in more children with disabilities. What if a woman cannot afford to raise another child or she has been deserted by the father of the child? I saw one mother who had a boy with Duchenne muscular dystrophy and knew she was a carrier of the gene. Her husband insisted she keep on having children, but once another boy was born with dystrophy, he left. Thus she had little money, two boys with this fatal disorder and sadly a doctor who had no idea of the best care for the youths. I spent a lot of time with her and was able to give the boys the care they needed, but it was a struggle for both of us. Children will be abandoned, abused and if they are put in the foster system, they are often used as servants or abused. 

I do not believe that any religion would want children to be abandoned, abused, or live lives that have little future. As a former Sunday school teacher I do not understand how people who base their dislike of abortions say this is because of their religion. That makes little sense to me. If you love children, as I do, you want them to have loving parents and homes.