Rx For Parenting Today

Raising Children in this Money/Celebrity Culture

It must be very difficult to raise children in these days when money and celebrities seem to rule. Now that we  have a TV celebrity president and billionaires running the country, how do  parents who care about raising caring, moral children make it from day to day? I was amazed and appalled at the accounts of parents who paid thousands of dollars to ensure their children were admitted to so-called elite colleges.

There is a wonderful non-profit in San Diego, A Bridge for Kids, that helps low income children with tutoring, computers, and even college tours to get into college. These are students that would never have a chance of going to college without this help. Just think of how many low-income students could have been helped with the thousands of dollars spent by parents on bribes to get their children into these rich, celebrity colleges. The daughter of one celebrity, whose parents paid an  enormous amount of money in  bribes for her to get into USC, said partying at college was her focus. Unbelievable! 

When I applied to Stanford it didn't occur to me that money would play such an important part for  so many of the students. I had worked as a waitress after school and weekends all through high school. I didn't  think about how I was going to pay the tuition at Stanford, but fortunately my college professor father had a colleague at Scripps College who started a scholarship for me and other women students who wanted to go to medical school. The Mary B Eyre scholarship is still active at Stanford. When I started Stanford I found I could wait on tables in the dining room of my dorm and I also worked in a small dorm store. In addition, I worked in the summers. I felt a strong disconnect between those of us who were "hashers" and the affluent women students we served. Most were there to find a rich husband, I heard.  I had never been exposed to wealth, being raised in a small college town where  most of my  friends were professors' children. 

I believe parents  do great harm to their children if money and only associating with rich  people is what they are taught.

The Devastating Effects of Measles

The New York Times on 2/12/19 had an excellent editorial on measles. They noted that the U.S. was measles free in 2000. Then Dr. Andrew Wakefield in England came up with the false claim that autism could result from vaccinations. He subsequently had his British license revoked and is now in Texas. He  met with Trump after the election.

Because so many parents have decided to not vaccinate their children, we now have had several new outbreaks of measles. So far 500 children have died from this disease. Many more have had bad problems with it. I do not understand how any parents could allow their children to possibly have measles encephalitis or other serious complications. When my daughter was in kindergarten in Rochester, New York, before we had a measles vaccine, a doctor's wife brought her ill son to Jennifer's classroom.  Of the 22 children in the class, only two escaped being infected by the virus he carried. Jennifer had a very bad time and I stayed with her the many days she was ill. The virus is very infectious and can cause great damage to a child. It  must be hard for a doctor to have parents who will not vaccinate their children. I would not be able to take care of children like this were I still in private  pediatric practice. Not only can measles cause great damage, but so can mumps, whooping cough, and other childhood diseases. One of my muscular dystrophy patients became deaf from mumps. It was before the vaccine was available and I know his parents would have had him vaccinated had the vaccine  been available. Polio still is found in a few countries and it hurts me terribly to know that polio could happen to U.S. children with  the rapid airplane travel from these countries and the decrease of immunizations in the U.S.

Trump's Lack of Concern for Children

Not only are migrant children at the border suffering or dying, as two have done recently, but millions of children in the U.S. are hungry or lack good medical care. Food stamps are one of Trump's targets, as well as the Republicans in Congress.  Many in Congress are very wealthy and of course have excellent health benefits. A recent report showed that about three million American children live in "extreme poverty." This is happening in the richest country in the world. We should all be ashamed this is allowed to happen. Some parents skip meals so their children will have enough to eat. Food pantries help some and some churches and other organizations do what they can. It hurts me deeply to know that any child goes to bed hungry or is without good medical care. The tax bill the Republicans passed helped only the rich. Why do they need more money, more houses, or more cars when they already have more money than most people have ever seen?

At this point, 14,000 migrant children are still in federal shelters.  Medical care is minimal and some children are even housed in tents. What kind of a country is the U.S. turning into? Many of the shelters are privately owned and the owners are making millions of tax payer dollars. If the Affordable Health Care act is eliminated by the Republicans, even more children and families will be hurt. Children with disabilities and adults with pre-existing conditions will suffer terribly. I am glad I live in California where the Governor and legislators are doing what they can to fight against the terrible policies of the Trump administration. As citizens we each need to to what we can to fight their lack of concern for children and ill or disabled people. Let's hope 2019 brings us better news than 2018 has done. 

Johnson and Johnson Baby Power and Asbestos

In a recent  article in the New York Times, Roni Rabin and Tiffany Hsu reported that Johnson and Johnson as far back as 1971 were told by one of their executives that their baby power was possibly contaminated by asbestos. Other J and J executives over the years made the same comment. Yet nothing was done and the baby powder continued to sell. Now there are going to be possibly 12,000 law suits about the problems this has created. Twenty-two women who had ovarian cancer sued the company because of the connection between the powder and asbestos. They were awarded 4.69 billion dollars.

As a pediatrician, I always advised parents  to use just the Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo. I did this because I didn't feel babies needed all kinds of products on their skin and also because of the cost. I suggested cornstarch worked just as well as baby powder and was less expensive. I did not know about the asbestos problem at that time.

I was standing at a check-out line a long time ago and saw a woman buying all kinds of expensive baby products. She paid with food stamps. I wanted to suggest she spend the money on food, not baby products.  

Medical, drug, and health companies frequently make statements that are false. I often shudder when I see an ad saying a product is recommended by all pediatricians, when I know the product is not something pediatricians would recommend. 

Far too many people rely on ads to buy products. When a baby's health or body are in jeopardy some research is needed. WebMD and the Mayo Clinic are good sources for medical information. I'm not sure it is possible  to rely on all doctors because they may go along with what the drug representatives tell them. Also, far too many doctors have connections with different medical companies, which is of great concern.

College Students Killed in the Latest Mass Shooting

My  heart goes out to the parents and families who lost a child in the latest mass shooting.  College should be a time  to have fun and learn who you are and what you want to do in life. Instead, we have just had our latest mass shooting that killed at last count 11 college kids. There have been 307 mass shootings this year and we are a nation that has more guns than people. The latest count is there are 393,347.000 guns in the U.S.  Of course there are many guns that are not licensed. 

The U.S. has 46% of the firearms in the world. It is important to note that despite Trump's claim that we will be murdered by the immigrants trying to come from Central America that the last three mass shooters were white U.S. males. The statistics are that 36,000 people die by gun violence in the U.S. each year. What is wrong with Trump and his Republican base that they won't allow anything to be done about gun violence? Hopefully,when the Democrats take over the  House of Representatives in January some legislation  will be passed to do something about gun violence in the U.S. Of course Trump pushed by the NRA will try to veto it, I am sure. If Trump had ever had to care for a child dying from a gun shot as I have, he might see guns differently. The power of the NRA is amazing. I  have no problems with guns being used for hunting. My father was raised on a farm and hunting was a way of life. However, he would have certainly wanted to keep guns out of the hands of people with mental illness or those filled with anger looking for revenge. 

The Cruel Treatment of Migrant Children and Teens

The treatment of migrant children seems to get worse and worse. Now 2000 unaccompanied children  have been transported at night to a tent city in Tornillo, Texas. This is a desert town far from any place else. There is air-conditioning, but no plans made for schooling. The kids have no access to legal protection or services. According to an editorial in today's New York Times there is no real protection "against physical abuse, sexual assault, or emotional torment." How can the Trump do this to children? If these were white children would he treat them the same way? As a pediatrician, mother, and grandmother, I am outraged. With all the focus on the Supreme court,will the administration get by with this unAmerican terrible cruelty?

Children are our nation's future. Any teen who came alone to the U.S. certainly has the kind of strength and character we want in our citizens. I cannot imagine my son as a teenager having to cross into the U.S. like this and then be stuffed into a tent in the desert. I hope parents, doctors and other citizens will speak out. This is just wrong.

In addition to these kids, there are now 13,000 children being detained across the U.S. Many relatives are afraid to come forward because they may not be citizens. Some who  have tried to take children have been deported because they are here illegally. Yes, immigration is a terrible, unsolved problem, but hurting children and and their parents like this will always be a black blot on our country's history. 

Betsy DeVos and Guns in Public Schools

Betsy DeVos, the inept Secretary of Education, is advocating that teachers in public schools all be given guns. This would be a disaster. It is a well known fact that when there are guns in a house, someone in the house is more likely to be killed than an intruder. There were guards with guns at some of the terrible college and school killings. It made no difference. 

I have several teacher friends and they shudder at the idea of having a gun in their classrooms.  They would retire before having a gun where they pupils might get hold of it. I wonder if Ms DeVos wants to  have guns in the private Christian schools  she and her family  attended? By taking money form school funds that should be used to educate our children, she is just helping the gun manufacturers. Does she have stock in these companies? She is worth, I understand about nine billion dollars. Perhaps she has a good friend in the NRA?

I  have no problem with hunters and people who store guns safely. I do have a problem with guns easily obtainable in a house, particularly where there are small children. Even if the guns are under lock and key, there must not be a way a child could find a way to get into the cabinet. If a child has some behavior problems or signs of mental illness, guns should not be available. One of my favorite doctors lost his doctor son and daughter-in-law to a grandson who got hold of a gun and killed his parents. I don't know how you recover from that. 

The Amazing Parkland Students

I was proud and delighted to read about the bus tour many of the Parkland school survivors are on. I applaud their parents also. The students give me hope that after this administration is gone  our country can again become a place where we are proud to live. Right now it is hard to be proud except for young people like the Parkland students. They are registering people across the U.S. and I am sure they are having an impact. I wish some of the  Republicans who believe everything Trump says could talk with some of these students.

According to an excellent article in today's New York Times "Since the shooting, states  have passed at least 50 gun regulations, largely because of pressure created by the Parkland movement." Not only must we do something about gun control in the U.S. but we also must help young people who are being bullied  or need special help in school. It is easier for a school to expel a troubled student rather than to be sure they get the special help they need. The Parkland shooter, Nikolas Cruz,needed special help which he  was not receiving. The school authorities wanted him to transfer to an alternative school for students with emotional problems, where he had had done well in the ninth grade. He had been found to be developmentally delayed at age three according to an article by Patrica Mazzei in the New York Times on August 4, 2018. Nikolas wanted to graduate from Marjory Stoneman Douglas high school. He was allowed to stay there but was not given any special help or apparently any psychiatric help. What were the school authorities thinking? They were not only breaking the law but certainly helped destroy the lives of 17 students. I wonder if the school will make any changes in how they handle troubled students?

Does Trump Have any Concern or Compassion for Children?

The babies and children who have been separated from their parents at the Border are a daily painful concern for me. Many may never see their parents again. I admire the Judge who is demanding daily reports. Children are the future of our nation and what has been done to these babies and children may never be completely undone. 

Now an new indignity has been wrought by Trump. He has not gone along with the World Health Organization statement that breast milk is important and best for babies and little children. Instead the formula companies have lobbied him to say that formula is fine. If it is in a powered form and mixed with dirty water, as may happen in Africa and other third world countries, the babies can develop diarrhea and can die. What is the man thinking? Apparently no one in his inner circle can keep him from making these harmful and  dangerous statements. 

Our environment is under attack from the EPA, even though Scott Pruitt is now gone. Clean air and clean water are vital to all of us, but particularly for growing children. I  hope that  thinking parents will start protesting strongly. 

Then if the new Supreme Court nominee is chosen, teenagers who become pregnant will be forced to carry the babies to term and their lives will be forever changed.  Mothers who can not afford any more children will suffer greatly, as we go back to families with eleven and twelve or more children. I  have seen the great damage this can do to children who  get  little  parenting because their mothers were always pregnant, tired, and miserable. We all must speak up and not allow this to happen.

 

Children in Despair

I am delighted so many people are out today protesting the Trump policy of separating immigrant parents from their children. This is cruel and can cause life-long damage to the children. As I saw the crowds on the news today, I wished the same energy could be used to protest the harm being done to the many children in the U.S. living in poverty and who are hungry. Trump and his billionaire cabinet don't seem to care about these children any more than they care about the children at the border. 

Nicholas Kristof had an excellent column in yesterday's New York Times. He  has long been an advocate for children. He wrote that " American kids are more likely to be poor, to drop out of high school and even to die young than in other advanced countries" Yet Trump wants to spend millions of dollars on a military parade; he is spending one billion dollars on 100 facilities around the country for immigrant children and adults.  How have Americans allowed this?

One-fifth of American children live in poverty and make up more than one-fifth of the  homeless. This is disgraceful for the richest country in the world. Health care is not guaranteed for poor children. Early childhood education and the old practice of having public health nurses and even social workers visit poor families could make a great difference as it did in the past. I wish Trump and his cabinet cared about making a difference in children's lives instead of taking away programs that can help them.